This post was developed via a partnership with BetterHelp.
When you think of a close-knit family, what do you picture? Picturesque images of nuclear families strolling through parks or laughing as they create car games are pleasant to look at, but rarely depict the ins and outs of family life—particularly when family is far away. Learning how to work with the time and energy that you have is essential to keep a family close-knit, even if that means doing virtual days out, or having a standing plane ticket each year to visit with loved ones.
What is it about distance that makes it so difficult?
The Advent of Distance
Living a great distance away from family members was not always common. Before the advent of mass travel, and even before the advent of affordable mass travel, many families stayed within a close radius for the entirety of their lives. This is no longer the case, and it is not terribly uncommon to hear of family members being strewn on opposite ends of the country, if not opposite sides of the world. While many see this distance as a simple feature of modern society and give it little thought, distance from family can negatively impact your mental health and overall sense of well-being, making staying in touch of the utmost priority.
Strategies to Keep Family Close in the Midst of Distance
Recent world events have made it difficult to stay in contact with family members. From the pandemic to hikes in the cost of living, making time and space for family has become increasingly difficult. Fortunately, there are some simple strategies you can utilize to try to keep your family close, even when distance is a factor. These strategies include:
- Prioritizing communication. Whether you set up a weekly phone call, or you set time aside for a mass monthly family video chat, keeping in close communication with your family members will help minimize the effects of distance.
- Be sure to share. When distance becomes a factor, many people fail to share their joys and triumphs (and pains and sorrows) on a regular basis. They may begin to reserve phone calls, emails, and other avenues used to reach out for “big” things—promotions, grades, or things of that nature, and neglect the small, everyday things that truly help people get to know and feel close to one another.
- Setting time aside. If your family members are abroad or live extremely far away, have dedicated times for them. That could mean setting aside a snippet of time every Saturday to share a book or TV show recap. It could mean simply texting your family member at a certain time or on a certain day, like clockwork. Setting time aside for your family will let you (and them) know that you are making your relationship a priority.
- Practice something together. Taking up a new hobby with a distant family member can help you feel connected Diving into a new television series can also create a bond. Finding ways to invest energy into your relationships in ways that are mutually fulfilling can help families stay close despite distance, even if that energy is invested in something like playing a video game.
- Resolve your differences. Conflict is deeply unhealthy over the long-term, even in relationships that span a great deal of space. Managing your differences and resolving any lingering ill feelings and can help families grow closer together, regardless of distance.
Getting Started
If you were not close to your family prior to the onset of distance, or you have had a falling-out, the first step is communication, which may then be followed by the strategies identified above. Keeping family close has been shown to be invaluable, as family ties have positive effects of general mental health and a consistent sense of life satisfaction. To determine the best way to support family connectedness even when distance is a factor, dig into your own family habits and practices. If you are not great at texting, opt for a phone or video call. If you are not interested in long, rambling conversations, consider checking in with a daily or weekly text. Supporting your unique family structure means getting to the root of your family unit’s own pitfalls and boons, in order to make those work for you and develop a strong, healthy relationship that is not dependent on time or location. If family issues and support, read some of the articles available on BetterHelp.
